U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
