can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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