A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
