Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize