his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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