6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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