I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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