i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
