Jerry, you need to find god
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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