well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i believe in u and ur pee
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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