no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
