Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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