he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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