It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
