I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You pole danced in your parka.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
