So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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