You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
