So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize