ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
