guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
