you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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