Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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