She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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