I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
