just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
