i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
