Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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