You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
