i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize