I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
