You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize