just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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