we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
