Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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