I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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