saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
