WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
