I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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