Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
