He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
