Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
