i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
