cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
