Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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