It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize