Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
