i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
