Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize