where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
