I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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