At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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