Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize