I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
