Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
