thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
