my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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