she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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