Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
