Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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