There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
