forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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