i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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