Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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