i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
