He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
