The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Let's paint friendship bongs
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
