OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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