Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
