Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Panties = found
Randomize
