That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
