Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
