There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
