You're completely useless in the revolution.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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