I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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